Face Value
by Brocky
Summary: Ah, the lengths people will go to, sometimes all for naught. I've decided to post each of these one-shot ideas as their own story, so no more chapters to What's Going On.


So I originally meant for What's Going On? to have many chapters, but as Danver pointed out, these stories are better standing by themselves. So here is the second bit in the "Series" if you will.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ah! My Goddess, its characters, or any properties that may be parodied in any manner in this work.

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'Hmmm, Otaki needs some help?' Belldandy thought as she looked at the title of the bulletin. She was sitting at Keiichi's computer, checking the updates on her "FaceSpace" page. Urd had introduced her to it, but once she had looked into the social network, she found literally everyone at Nekomi Tech had a page. When setting it up, Urd had demanded that she post several revealing pictures, as she herself done. Seeing the near pornographic quality of them, Belldandy had protested, and won out in the end. With good grace it seemed, as Urd's account had been deleted over said pictures. She suspected Skuld had reported them, but lacked proof.

But now, Belldandy sat here looking at the computer. Otaki-kun it seemed need helped, as the title of his bulletin read I need help. As her nature demanded, she clicked on the link, hoping she could be of assistance. She was horrified by what it read.

'Long ago there was there was a plumber named Zeke, who was working on job one day. Zeke, who had his nose bitten off by a parrot on a trip to the Philippines, and thus couldn't smell, failed to detect a leaking gas line. This proved to be his downfall, as hit lit a match, only to be killed in the explosion. The only part of him they found was his plunger. Now that you have read this, the ghost of Zeke the plumber will come to your house at midnight looking for his plunger. If he doesn't find it he will kill everyone you love, assuming they have stolen it. Repost this with the title 'I need help' to avoid the curse befalling you. If you don't, your loved ones will be KILLED!'

'Oh dear!' she panicked. What was she to do? The letter said very clearly that her loved ones, meaning Skuld, Urd, and of course Keiichi, would be killed at midnight. But how could she repost such a fate onto another suspecting victim? The sort of act was unthinkable for a goddess. A demon perhaps…

"This must be the will of a demon!" She announced out loud, oblivious to the fact she was alone. She promptly leapt in the nearest mirror, intent on investigating her first lead.

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Mara sat in her armchair, lethargically snoozing. Her apartment, littered with trash and useless junk, seethed in near silence, as the only sound came from the cheap television buzzed something resembling sound, due to its poor signal. This was all lost on Mara, who continued to sleep away.

That was until the only mirror in the house, the one in the bathroom, began to glow. Belldandy leapt out, and would've made a beeline for Mara, if not for the clutter that caused her trip immediately. She spent a second on the floor, till the smell of the place caused to her to react.

"What on Earth…" was all she was able to say, because she had to hold her mouth to keep from gagging. She looked at the clothes spread everywhere for a moment, before she decided to ignore them, and began tiptoeing through the doorway and down the hall, finally spotting her target lying in an arm chair, apparently taking a mid day nap. She moved over to the demon, and at first tried conventional means to wake her.

"Mara, I need to talk to you." She announced.

The demon grunted and turned onto her side.

"Mara, please wake up." She pleaded.

A distinctly unfeminine snore was the only the response. Belldandy decided to use severe measures.

"The house is on fire!"

Different chapter, same story, It was time for something truly underhanded.

"Hild-sama, what a pleasant surprise!"

The reaction was similar to what she hoped for, as she expected the demon to spring up at the proclamation. She did not expect the flailing limbs of Mara to shoot blasts of energy, thus destroying said television with bad signal.

"I wasn't sleeping, I was…" Mara began to spew out, stopping when she realized there was no Daimakaichō, but in fact a goddess standing there.

"What do you want, and how did you get by my seals?" she asked. She then pointed to the door, which had several wards pasted upon it.

"I came in through the mirror in the bathroom, and I must say how absolutely revo-"Belldandy started to say, but was quickly cut off.

"Yeah yeah, put a sock in it. Why are you here though?" she demanded

"I'm here because of a demon's work! I was on FaceSpace, where I stumbled upon a curse. My loved ones will die at midnight because of that bulletin, and now I need to stop it! Since you're the only demon I know in the area, you had to have posted it." Belldandy explained.

Mara was about to use some choice words on what she felt was an apparent misunderstanding, then stopped for a moment. Such an opportunity rarely fell into her lap like this, a chance to make the Norn look foolish. She decided rather, to have some fun with the goddess.

"I couldn't have posted that because, as you should see, I don't have a computer. And that wasn't posted by a working demon, it's too vague. Our contracts are clearly expressed, and must be agreed to. Like the one written for Shia LeBeouf, who traded his soul for fame. If you want to know the source of that curse's power, you have to follow its trail." She rationalized.

Belldandy mused over this. Mara was right, as this curse couldn't be contract-related. Its origin must simply be someone's sadistic plot. Make their victim's either quiver in fear, or let them dwell in their guilt by passing on the burden. Yes, it appeared the only way to save her family was to trace the path. She would have to pay Otaki a visit. She turned to Mara.

"I think I'll do that, and for the intrusion, gomen-nasai." said Belldandy. Feeling that their business was concluded, she once again sprinted, or rather, stumbled through the obstacles in the hallway. It wasn't until she was through the mirror that Mara uttered a final comment before returning to her previous state.

"Yep, she's definitely related to Skuld."

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Otaki had seen many weird things in his computer. Impossible motorbike stunts, impossible motorbike stunt failures, and unspeakable horrors that strange people found arousing. He had never, though, seen something this weird happen while at his computer.

"Dam another chain." He muttered. 'Hot Babes Inside' the bulletin had read. But, naturally, inside was a horrid story about the vengeful ghost of a crazy logger looking for his lost chainsaw. He really didn't care for doing these, but as Satoko had pointed out, if he was gullible enough to click on one of these, he might as well pass it on. He had copy and pasted the message and was about to post it, till a shrill akin to a banshee came from behind him.

"WAITTTTTTTTTTTTT!" Belldandy screamed as she practically exploded from the standing mirror on his desk. The explosion did create tremors however, as the positioning of the mirror caused the goddess to hit the college student in the chest, their combined weight tipping his chair. This left the two effectively sprawled across the floor, with Belldandy sitting on his chest.

"Um, Hey Belldandy." He stuttered, quite shocked.

Belldandy had no time for small talk, and reacted quickly in hopes of reaching her goal.

"Otaki, how did you acquire the curse?" She demanded.

"What?" he asked still confused.

"How did Zeke get to you?!" She persisted

"Who?" he continued.

"The plague bestowed upon you from the depths of cyberspace!"

"Where?"

"Otaki, tell me who posted the bulletin about the evil plumber. Tell me whose cry for help you answered. Tell Me! Tell Me!" She pleaded.

"The chain about Zeke the Plumber?" he asked, gaining some sort of bearing amid the extraordinary circumstances.

"Yes, except he doesn't have a chain, he's looking for his plunger, and he's going to after Keiichi!" She wailed.

"Well it was posted by Hasegawa only she…"

"Sora-kun? Great! See Ya!" She cut him off and bounded up, ready to dive back through the mirror, the only thing that stopped her was Otaki's question.

"Hey Belldandy," He said, still quite mesmerized.

"Yes, what is it?"

"How is that you are able to, you know, jump through mirrors and such?"

Belldandy, unable to lie due to her license, didn't give the question a second thought.

"I'm a goddess you see, it's kinda my thing, you know?" she replied, and then leapt through her medium.

Otaki just sat there for a second stunned, and after a moment's consideration, did the only thing that seemed appropriate at the time. He staggered up, righted his chair and sat at his computer. He began typing away, letting the words flow.

"Stop! Repost this bulletin, and a goddess will fly out of the nearest mirror and…"

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Belldandy did visit Sora that day, and got much of the same result. Belldandy leapt from mirror to mirror, tracing the curse from computer to computer. Its trail was dire, much worse than she ever could've possibly imagined. How Yggdrasil could miss such an obvious bringer of misfortune, she could not answer. Initially the path only led her to various students of Nekomi Tech, many of which she knew. She soon learned a pattern, and that to reach her goal, she had to avoid the initial shock of her witnesses, and find out the location of the previous poster. Sure, she did receive many strange welcomes, such as marriage proposals. These along with the attempts to sway her into relations, invitations to take up permanent residence, and the rather odd case where the poster just stared at her for a second, then ran away screaming bloody murder, which she didn't quite understand. The attempts eventually led her away from Nekomi, to other regions of Japan. Kyoto, Nagasaki, and eventually even Okinawa were discovered to have been affected by the epidemic. By dinnertime, she had covered most of Eastern Asia, and was now on her way to Sri Lanka. Then an internal alarm went off inside her. She then realized, to her great horror, that her time zone jumping had caused her to lose track of time, and it was now mere minutes before midnight in Japan. Seeing no end in sight, and having failed to find the source of the curse, she resigned to her alternative plan, which she developed while during her travels. Seeing the review mirror of a nearby Beemer, she then leapt into it.

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"Have either of you seen Belldandy? It's not like her to completely miss dinner." Keiichi wondered out loud. He had not seen a hair of the goddess since that morning, and it was beginning to make him wonder.

"Can't say that I have Keiichi." Skuld mumbled, trying to sound nonchalant. Her tone gave her away though, not nearly as much as the repeated looks to the door, which had been noticed by the college student.

"I'm sure she has a good reason." Keiichi reasoned, trying to cheer up the mood anyways.

Skuld merely just rolled her eyes and paid him no mind. Still though, it was odd. She got up from the table and began to make her way to her room, intent on using her godly homing device she had made for such a purpose. She had passed the bath when she noticed the bright flash, and the unmistakable sound of a travel medium being used. She turned to greet her big sister, but was puzzled when her sister ran from the bath, straight past her, and into the spare room. She watched her through the door as she looked about the room, seemingly searching for something. She apparently found her target, as she held an A-track tape up in triumph. She then began to speak quickly, conjuring a spell, a glowing light illuminating her. Once it was finished, she turned to Skuld.

"Skuld dear, could you come over here and give me your hand? Belldandy asked her politely.

"Onee-sama, what's going AHHH!!" Skuld shrieked. She had obeyed her sister by raising her hand, which Belldandy promptly pressed into the tape, who then watched as it sucked her younger into a compressed dimension. She resigned herself a brief sigh, and then walked into back into the hallway.

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Urd sat the computer, her deft fingers flying quickly across the keyboard, an impish grin upon her face. Rather than take notice of Belldandy's absence, she was taking advantage of a situation. It seemed her dear sister had left the computer on, and had her FaceSpace account logged in. She had spent the last several hours editing the information to her preference. This coupled perfectly with the masterful photoshopping she had done to those pictures from the beach, in which she took great care to delete the image of Keiichi. Now that Belldandy's bio read that she was a flirtatious vixen looking for a man, and she had the pictures to prove it, she was sure to attract lots of attention. Hopefully it would make Keiichi jealous enough to make his status with her well known. Urd leaned back and admired her work.

"Nee-san, I'm sorry" said Belldandy, announcing her presence.

"Sorry forAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" was all Urd was able to yelp out as she felt the tape pressed against her back, and she too was sucked into the dimension.

"Two down, one to go"

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Belldandy was glad to see Keiichi glancing nervously down the hall when she left the room. He must have heard the entire ruckus.

"H-hey Belldandy, where have you been?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"That's not important, Keiichi, I need you to touch this tape." She said, as she desperately looked around for a clock, as there appeared to be none in the main room.

"What is it exactly?" he asked.

"It's a seal. Urd and Skuld are already inside, and I need you to join them." She asked, on the border of true alarm.

"What are you talking about?" he questioned, slightly confused, and consequently very afraid.

"Get in the seal Keiichi, NOW." She ordered in a stern voice.

"Belldandy I'm not going to …" Keiichi began but was cut off by the simultaneous chiming of the grandfather clock in the next room, and the sharp sound of someone knocking on the door.

"Is anyone here? I heard voices."' A raised voice from outside said.

'Oh no, I'm too late!' she panicked.

"I'm coming in!" the voice announced.

Belldandy did the only thing that seemed logical at this point.. She used one hand to throw the enchanted tape behind her, hoping Keiichi would have the sense to enter it, and raised the other in the air. Talking quickly to the spirits, she conjured an item she felt was most appropriate for the occasion.

The projectile formed quickly in her hands, and once it was fully fashioned, she used to her magic to fly it to her target, hoping beyond hope it would fly true. It reached the doorway a fraction of a second after it opened.

Where the enchanted plunger struck Megumi dead in the face, and then continued to stick to her.

"AH WHAT THE FU." Megumi tried to say, but was cut off as the plunger's magical properties began to suck her inside it. Her struggles were useless, and within a moment's notice she was sealed inside it.

Belldandy stood there stunned. Megumi was the mastermind behind the curse? More shocking was that she was willing to carry it out even at the cost of her own brother? It didn't make sense.

"Belldandy what the hell is wrong with you!" Keiichi yelled incredulously from behind her. She turned and saw that he had merely side stepped the tape and was staring at her as if she had two heads. Regardless, he continued.

"You just sealed my sister inside a plunger! WHY?" he persisted.

"Keiichi, she was here to kill you." She answered.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I read this bulletin that said so and…" Belldandy began to explain, and then gave a full detail of her exploits that afternoon. Keiichi just stood there, gradually calming down, then simply stared at Belldandy when she had finished.

"Belldandy, that was a chain letter, they aren't real. No evil plunger is coming to kill us off."

"It's not true?" she asked, daring to hope.

"They are very much not real, and you come across them all the time. I can't believe you went to this much effort all on impulse." He stated.

"Yes, well, it appears that I have made quite a mess of things." She said as she glanced around at the sealed victims around her. The plunger was dormant, but the A-track had begun to violently jump into the air, it occupants seemingly agitated.

"Should we let them out?" she asked.

"Knowing them, not right now" he responded.

"You're probably right. Wait, why was Megumi-san over coming over here?"

"She said she wanted to talk about how people were calling her and saying people were talking about you on the internet." He answered.

"Oh, about how I visited so many people today?" She asked.

"No, about your FaceSpace pictures, and about how they were quite racy. Belldandy, I'm was very surprised when she said that you had posed in your bathing suit without your top, using only your arms to cover yourself. It seems so unlike you." He concluded.

"Oh Dear" was the only thing Belldandy could say.

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Summary: Okay, Chapter 2. I'm basing this one of the general idea that Belldandy can be naïve sometimes. Just a little. I hope you liked it. Please review or message me about a subject or so.


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